That would be today, a day when I don’t have much in the way of creative post titles…. Things are so hectic (though probably differently hectic compared to 40-somethings’ traditional hecticness). I think I mentioned this a little while ago, but have so much work right now, and the house is going up (all framing is done and trusses are up; I will be involved more when the two solar systems (PV and solar air) are going in (because I have a pretty good understanding of them) and when the rainwater system is going in (where I’ll be punting!)), and my bees are needing more boxes now (I had a lull in box/frame-building till now cuz they were growing into some of last year’s equipment), and I have more than one trip per month now through November (woodworking, work, funeral, work, dancing, work). (That’s a funny list, now that I look at it.)
I want to stay present here, too, though, so that may mean some short posts just to say hello. It’s good for me to have this place to connect with you all and just think out loud… I have been wanting to write about the book I stumbled across a few months ago that crystalized everything for me (The Untethered Soul) and about the amazing richness of doing Julia Cameron’s morning pages (out of The Artist’s Way) at this point in my life. But those will have to wait.
As for the reunion, it was wonderful and it was exhausting and it was somewhat traumatic (though I have no idea why). It did not even occur to me to drink alcohol at the two dinners we had. I was thinking about this afterwards, and I think it was because I was feeling such stress (again, no idea why — they’re all good people and I was happy to see them) that the thought of crippling my mind/emotions with alcohol was unthinkable. I didn’t have the energy to drink! It was all I could do to hang on to the whole evening sober. What a switch. I think I’ve gotten really used to having all of my attention and awareness and energy available to me at all times. It’s not that it’s always entirely easy not to drink, but it is feeling pretty natural.
I love having great access to myself. I think that being able to operate comfortably in the world without alcohol involves carving out private, rich spaces inside me where I am free and alone and exactly myself. (One might call this a boundary….)
Happy July 19, everyone. Have a good one!