I don’t entirely know. But it’s one of the things I mull over these days when it occurs to me to mull over my relationship with alcohol. That first half hour gave me something I desperately craved. Liberation. Freedom from some belief I had (and still partially have) that said I couldn’t feel free and be myself with abandon and be socially acceptable/accepted all at the same time. (“Be myself with abandon.” What exactly is being abandoned?) The first beer gave me that sensation of floating happily in my own self, uncramped.
So I’ve been asking myself what was up with that. What am I craving and how do I accept that liberation inside myself unpropped up by alcohol? I’ve got some thoughts on that… to be typed up another day.
At the same time I’m more focused on beers #2, #3, etc., because those were the real outcome and their effects were anything but liberation and freedom. Crossed mental wires, stifled creativity, inflamed emotions, crap sleep, debilitating headaches. Any thought or craving for a beer needs to be linked not to the promised, alluring, fake outcome, but to the real one. I find it so useful to bring immediately to mind the notion that alcohol means 100% devastation, a la Allen Carr. It’s not partly fine but harmful in larger quantities. It’s purely useless at best, and devastation at worst. Alcohol has no benefits whatsoever, even if you don’t struggle with alcohol dependency or addiction. Thank you, Allan Carr.
This is it for today. I wanted to show up here. My life is overflowing these days, as we’re in the final couple of weeks before moving into our new house and I’m nailing oak flooring, coordinating an off-grid solar installation, installing a rainwater system, trying to find time to eat and sleep — but I want to stay connected here at least by a thread. So, hi!
Have a good one…