In the couple of years leading up to my walk away from alcohol, one thing that repeatedly pinged my little brain was reading sober bloggers’ reflections on things they watched themselves do that signaled “there’s a problem here!” I apparently thought I was the only one who carefully rotated liquor stores so that the nice young innocent men who sold me my craft beer wouldn’t suspect I had a drinking problem, or carefully thinned or buried the bottles in the recycling bin if anyone might be coming over. I especially liked the pings that made me laugh. Worrying about one’s excessive alcohol consumption can get kind of dark sometimes.
I was reminded of these twice today. First, by Life Without Vodka Rocks in an early-sobriety post in which she describes being at a function with a cash bar with wine and bottled beer — the wine glasses were small and the bartender was being skimpy, and she realized that the drinking-her would have switched to the beer so as to get enough to drink without being seen walking up to the bar too many times. Not sure I ever did exactly that, but I’m so familiar with the counting. (And I did chew out a bartender once for leaving too much foam on my beer. I wanted it UP TO THE TOP DAMNIT.)
The second reminder came out of my own head, where a voice had the brilliant idea to switch my soberversary. The date that I (we?) (I) have, it didn’t like. We (I) should have another drink (tomorrow would be absolutely convenient because I’m going out with one of my “let’s have a beer!” friends (who totally doesn’t care that I drink NA beer)) so that we get a better date, a nicer more harmonious number.
You know, guys, I think the definition of “infinite” is “the number of new reasons your inner addict can find to have just one drink.”
If you’re in a place where you can chuckle at yourself, I invite you: What are some of the things you did or thought before you quit alcohol (or started trying to quit), that seem funny or incredible in retrospect? For the amusement of people comfortable without alcohol and insight for people whose inner addicts are currently still winning the argument.