I made myself a care package

A few days ago I did a little smart thing to try to protect my beautiful little alcohol-free space. I had plans to get together with my sister and brother-in-law at my nephew’s lacrosse game on Sunday afternoon. I was not pleased with this turn of events. My desire had been to take my nephew to the science museum (10 years old! it’s so fun to watch the changes in how kids navigate a science museum at 5, 7, 10, 12 years old). And then his sports schedule got in the way. But my sister suggested that perhaps I could come to his lacrosse game that day instead. That sounded just fine to me. And I would get time with my sister! But, oh, I would be joining her and her husband. (I like my sister, almost all the time, except when she freaks out and screams at me, which happens on an infrequent and absolutely unpredictable schedule; I’d prefer not to spend much time at all with my brother-in-law.) So my field trip to the museum with my nephew has morphed into sitting in bleaches with my sister and brother-in-law.

Arg. Oh well. This is my Sunday. Now, I have a distinct recollection of the last time I met them somewhere like this (a concert for my other nephew), and when I got into the car to drive home, I was seized –seized, I tell you! — by a need to drink. This was a couple of years ago during an early attempt to quit drinking. I pulled into the parking lot of the first liquor store I saw, bought beer, and regretted that it was going to take me half an hour to get home to drink it. The whole scene was such a trigger.

I so didn’t want this to happen again and I could totally see how the scene could play out. I thought about it and did a couple of beverage-related other things. I packed a care package so that when I came back to my car I would have, basically, some comfort. I brought a big thermos of hot water and good tea bags. And I packed a smaller thermos of coffee to sip during the game. (My attachment to hot drinks runs strangely deep. I must have frozen in a glacier on a mountaineering trip to some Peruvian mountaintop in a previous lifetime.) Off me and my thermoses went to the game.

Well. Brother-in-law wasn’t there because their other child was having car trouble. It was me and sis watching the game, which was actually my first choice. I sipped my coffee and talked peacefully with my sister for an hour. After the game we chatted with nephew for a bit and I walked to my car. I looked fondly at that big blue thermos and the love it signified. Poured some turmeric ginger tea. Contentment. Will bring it next time, too.



10 thoughts on “I made myself a care package

    • Yeah, I think that burrowing into one’s very clear desires and preferences is a part of making a comfortable life away from alcohol. It takes time to turn on the intuition. Sometimes a voice in my head complains about how expensive this tea is. It objects to $7 for a box of teabags that give sweet pleasure for a month while having no problem dropping $20 on an evening of beer. Yay for your decaf earl grey 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Since I quit alcohol I’ve also discovered my tea tastes slowly fluctuating, kind of wildly. It took me a while to realize that and pay attention, and now just embrace my laser focus on a thing as seemingly irelevant as a tea bag.

      Liked by 1 person

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