A cabin in Vermont

The more time goes by, the more I see into my idiosyncrasies and understand why it was so hard for me to care for myself, for so long.

The other day something in me was screaming that it wanted to be all alone in a cabin in a distant forest, drinking myself into oblivion. The urge, in the form of this thought, was so strong. I held it. I went over to it to try to see and hear and feel more closely what was up. Why the tantrum? What did it consider so insanely important to get?

Here is what I slowly saw.