Absorption

I’m in Wyoming for a family reunion. Been looking forward to this for months! My dad lives in a tiny town up in the mountains, and I grew up in a bigger town a couple of hours away out on the plains. The wide open. But I’m up here now, and I love the shade, the pine trees, the creek flowing by this little cabin where my partner and I are staying for the next three days.

Day 55 of no alcohol.

Half the family hardly drinks at all Continue reading

Drowning in alcohol: chemical reminders

A week or so into this quitting-alcohol stint I brought alcohol into my life in a disgusting new way. Highly recommended.

In my non-urban home [because of an unplanned falling-in-love event nine years ago, I have two homes — my original beloved urban home where I live (and drank) alone and a newer 10-acres-outside-a-cool-small-town home with my partner (where I drank much less but did a lot of hiding of and thinking about alcohol)] … we have ticks. This year Continue reading

Desensitization in the beer aisle

I have this sadness about the beer bottles. I’d been steering clear of liquor stores over the past several weeks, but I went in one yesterday. The explosion of craft beer is still dizzying. I started getting into beer back toward the beginning of it (god, it’s entirely possible I wouldn’t have even developed a beer problem if the only beer available had remained the crap stuff). I realized a long time ago how Continue reading

In search of peace inside my own head

I got on a plane yesterday, and sitting in my row were two kids — in the 6/7-year-old range. I looked around for their adult and spotted a man across the aisle getting a couple of slightly older kids settled in their seats. Must be him. He seemed inattentive to these guys, though. I tried to catch his eye, and nothin’.

I asked the kids who they were with and they gleefully informed me that they were unaccompanied minors!!. Shit. The flight attendants were so happy to have a “mom figure” Continue reading

Phase change

Happy Friday. I come to the keyboard with nothing particularly in mind, simply wanting to stay connected. I have almost two months away from alcohol and am stepping through the days pretty annoyed these days. Most days for the past week or two I’ve just really wanted a beer. Haven’t had one. Have watched the inclination to suddenly, standing at the counter of the local coffee shop about to order my half-calf Americano, almost order a beer. Relearning for the nth time how instantaneously Continue reading

Back at the Keyboard

Well, hi! May, I see, was the last time I typed here. I’ve missed this place.

The last six months have been filled with work, as usual, the ever ebbing and flowing of a freelance life, and … construction! Just as our actual house was nearing completion, I started building a workshop. A place for tools and building, woodworking and stained glass tools for now and who knows what new tools in the future. It’s 450 feet over a little hill from the house. Back behind the bees.  Five friends came in July for three days to frame it up and put the roof structure on, and I’ve spent untold hours since then — blissfully — finishing the framing, sheathing, housewrapping, and windows. It’s been a lot of literal hours, but also quite the psychological magnet. I’m finding it hard to concentrate in other areas of life, although the arrival of true colder temps now is driving me back to the house. Highs in the 30s do a good job of deterring work in an uninsulated, even with the wood stove fired up.

I think about this absorbingpeace place and often often read Continue reading