Wolfie cracks me up

Wolfie made me laugh today. (Who’s Wolfie?) I was working on my workshop, spent most of the day out there taping house wrap and screwing on joist hangers and stapling screen over the little ventilation holes at the ends of the rafter vents. Pure puttering. Mind wandering every which way. I got to thinking about my college soulmate who I’d just spoken to on the phone (he just installed a water heater at my house at Home 1), who told me some stuff about another college friend of ours, so my mind wanders to college friend 2.

Years ago, first friend happened to mention that friend 2 had stopped drinking for that calendar year. That sounded odd and I asked why. (I didn’t myself yet have a drinking problem back then.) He said, “he wants to prove to himself that he doesn’t have a problem.” This guy apparently went one year on, one year off. I just sort of thought, huh. Something in me filed that away, though, because it’s still with me all these years later.

As I was very vaguely mulling that alternating years thing, as I taped and stapled, Wolfie pokes his head out and says, “that’s an interesting idea.” To drink every other year. It’s curious because I’m pretty happily just going on my little sober merry way theses days (though I do feel a new season coming on; no clue what its name or nature is). I laughed out loud.

Today is day 82 and I love the little cushion of sober days I have building behind me. But also, the winds feel like they’re shifting, I feel like something’s moving/shifting/settling in my mind/body, I wonder what that is and whether I should be doing something proactively in response (such as, in Belle’s language, reaching out for more sober supports). I think that I may need to identify some new sober treats. Hmm.

Or maybe I just acknowledge that a new chapter is starting and I may not know its name or theme or story line for a while.

Patience. And still rolling.

Have a good one.

Adrian

 

8 thoughts on “Wolfie cracks me up

    • I hadn’t even thought of that as moderation, because it’s so extreme, but yes. I’m grateful for how clear it is to me that moderation isn’t an option (though getting to this realization wasn’t all roses), but Wolfie the Clever Liar didn’t get the memo πŸ™‚

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  1. Congrats on 82 day!! I have to tell myself daily that “I just can’t drink” I can’t moderate – I am an all or nothing type of girl when it comes to alcohol. 1 year on, 1 year off piqued my wolfie voice too LOL…nope, send that thought to the trash bin in my brain. You’re doing great.

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    • Yep, all or nothing. I also have to occasionally get stern with myself on that, because in many other things, it’s actually good to loosen the black and white thinking. But not with this. (Cue Belle’s WHAT’S THAT WOLFIE? I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU, WOLFIE! BECAUSE I’M COUNTING MY MONEY!!!)

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  2. Oh god yes. β€˜Jack’ (my Wolfie) comes up the the most crazy ass ideas. Luckily I can laugh at him these days because I see that it’s just my addiction sleazing it’s way back in. πŸ’–

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    • “If you quit drinking, it proves you don’t have a problem?” Yeah, I love that one, too! I am at day 143 today (really need to write a new blog post, thank you for showing up here today πŸ™‚ ) and have to steadily remind myself that the fact that I am still extremely obsessed with the quitting drinking thing, after ALMOST 5 MONTHS, means that I definitely had a problem. Doesn’t matter how much I drank back then. I tend to get complacent right around now and think I can have just a little sip when others are having wine. Not this time.

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      • πŸ™‚ Yeah, I found my ‘obsession’ with quitting drinking informative too. But then again, in alternative medicine they say it takes a month of hard work and focus on health for every year of illness that one has. I was, well, born with an addictive personality so I had some time to go. It is ok. Though my addict within obviously wanted to speed up the healing…… “so I could drink again” he said. Sigh…..
        Congrats on your day 143!!! That is great. πŸ™‚
        xx, Feeling

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